Silly Silly girls fly all the way to Ireland to escape

- April 13, 2023

I stare at the blinking cursor, sitting at the Beckett Locke restaurant and an unknown tune plays out of the hallway speakers. I went to sleep in Hargeisa on the 21st and when I woke up on the 23rd I was in Dublin, the birthplace of Oscar Wilde and Saorise Ronan.
What am I doing here, a place unknown to me, not a home yet, no, a place that is as cold and as dreary as the 1st circle of hell, so beautiful and so green. What am I doing here i think, I miss the sun, I miss my mother and the loud presence of our backdoor neighbours, and the sand, the dusty roads, the language, the-
I actually like it here. I like the newness of it, like I can exist as anyone I want to be, I like the greenery, the strangers. No one knows me here, I am simply Mouna or maybe Nada. No, this afternoon I want to be nobody. Miss nobody in Dublin.
I started a new job, the ring of congratulations still hasn't left my ears, the tingling of adventure in my chest. I am in love with my new job, I thank Allah for his trust in me, the possibilities are endless, my capabilities unique. Like I said, a new page, a fresh start, a loving presence for myself.
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It's been three months actually. Three months since i started this draft, since I left everything I have ever known behind and started from the bottom. Quite literally because as of this moment I am sitting in my three bedroom ground floor apartment. I pay an exorbitant amount for rent it feels a bit like extortion, I drink iced frappes while my nose turn red from the bite of the wind and I learned how take the bus like a pro. A true, taxpaying Dublin gyal. lol

I am truly impatient, I realise while chatting with a well-being coach at my company, I want to do everything at once, breathe all the oxygen into my lungs at once, climb to the top, drag myself out of hell, build monuments, earn victories, be good, be smart, be tough. I also don't want to burn like a midsummer night's dream, feverish, exhilarating but so short and so unfulfilling it sticks to your soul. I don't want this to stick to my soul, let this dream be my achilles heel.
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7 MONTHS LATER LOL
People i have been here for seven months. I am now familiar with the Dublin accent, I roll my r's and drink frappes still, can't stand the bitter taste of coffee. I am still lazy, quick to temper but I have learnt so much about myself and the world. I learned that arugula tastes like honey, marinated hard boiled eggs make fine snacks, Europe has a thing against hot Cheetos, I walk everywhere, the park near my house is the best place to have a quick stroll and online shopping is actually an addiction.
I miss my family like crazy and some days my heart pains me so bad I feel like curling into myself, I miss my best friend (Hi Hamda, please call me I have some tea I gotta tell you ;) ).
If there is something I would recommend to anyone travelling this way; invest in an umbrella, a good waterproof jacket and prepare to be amazed at every turn. Keep an open mind, you will lose some, gain some, break some hearts and have yours broken.

Something about making your dreams come true rings like an impossibility, but we dream to save ourselves from the misery of being human, and we achieve those dreams because we are human. Although I can't say the journey to here has been easy, I'll say that it's been worth it, every tear, every disappointment and everything else in between.